Things Unspoken
by Keithan
Summary: AragornLegolas mild SLASH. Aragorn slowly learns of his feelings, true and pure, to Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both Aragorn and Arwen. COMPLETE.
1. Eyes on You

**_______________________________________________**

I have read through and edited the entire fic.  
Hopefully, I've ironed out some of the kinks and errors I had missed during the first post.   
Thank you for the support you've given during the time I was writing this! I appreciated it very much.  
Soon, I'd find the right time and inspiration to write more!  


**~Keithan~  
_18 March 2003_**  
**_______________________________________________**

**Title: **_Things Unspoken  
_**Author: **Keithan  
**Disclaimers:** Lord of the Rings and its characters belongs to their respective owners.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Series: **1/5  
**Warnings: **This fic contains nothing graphic but involves certain matters, such as male to male relationships, that some might find offensive. Thus, this should be read only upon agreeing that one must proceed with an open mind and could accept the things mentioned above.  
**Summary:** Aragorn slowly learns once again of his feelings, pure and untainted, for Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both the Man and Arwen. 

**_______________________________________________**

**THINGS UNSPOKEN__________**  
part 1: eyes on you

The night was young, and the stars had just graced the mantle of darkness up above. Together with the soft pale light of the moon, they illuminated the grounds here below, creating a scene of tranquility and peace.

If I hadn't known better, I'd say it was the case. 

But no. 

Not only now did I wish that I did not hold the knowledge I hold. For instead of having a peaceful camp in this fairly beautiful night, sitting by the fire as I'd done for the past years of my life, we now walk here in the darkness, with the shadow of fear covering us like a blanket we couldn't be separated from.

Our bodies were weary and our feet were crying out to be rested for they have been walking for a day's length, perhaps more. We'd only rested for a short drink in a clear stream hours earlier, but although they voiced it not, it wasn't enough for the Hobbits' inexperienced legs, and Pippin's stomach must already be complaining right now.

I spared him a glance. He remained a few paces ahead of me, since I chose to stay in the end of the line to guard there, while Gandalf led us in front, Legolas a guard next to him, and Gimli and Boromir stayed near the hobbits. It seemed that I was just right because he was whispering something, most likely a complaint, to Merry. 

"We stop here for the night." Gandalf suddenly said. 

I saw Pippin nearly jumped for joy, as well as Merry. Sam and Frodo smiled in relief for they would be able to rest at last. Even Gimli approved of this.

I looked around our surroundings, and saw that Gandalf had chosen well. There was a large burrow surrounded by large rocks and trees ahead of us, seemingly made for camping: quite discrete enough not to be noticeable. 

The Hobbits immediately made themselves comfortable. Merry, Pippin, and Frodo sat and leaned against a large boulder, while Sam rummaged through his pack to prepare supper.

Boromir had already started making a fire, with Gimli assisting him.

"Rest at last! My stomach has been complaining for hours now for it to be filled." Pippin said with a weary sigh of relief.

"'Tis your mouth that has been complaining, young Took." Gandalf answered. "A stomach, of any creature, may it be Hobbits, Elves, Dwarves or Men can go on for at least a certain period of time without fill," The Istari found himself a seat farther from the now lit campfire than the Hobbits before continuing, "It's only you who can't sacrifice at least, Peregrin."

I smiled inwardly at the Hobbits' cheerful ways as Pippin immediately had something to say. They always acted as if danger was far from reach. 

I was about to join them and take a seat, when a thought just occurred to me.

The problem with beings so quiet, full of stealth and grace, who may choose to remain silent, was that you never know when they are actually with you or not. I didn't know whether to praise Elves for such ability or to be annoyed with them, especially if you have been chosen as a target for an Elf's playful scheme, which I experienced enough with Elrond's two sons.

But this Elf was neither Elladan nor Elrohir. 

Rather Legolas, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I glanced at Gandalf, but he seemed oblivious to my thoughts and worry. So were the others. I frowned and began to search the surroundings with my eyes, not wanting to bring any attention to myself. Fear and worry started to well up in me. What if something had happened to the fair Elf? I hadn't noticed him since.. 

"What is it that troubles you, Dúnadan?" Startling me for a moment, his voice made me realized that I was worrying for nothing. Recognizing the soft melodious voice of the Elf from behind me, I felt myself relaxing unconsciously. Memories of my stay in Mirkwood were evoked by his choice of name. I gave him a side-glance, turning my head slightly, not wanting to show my useless worry. I should have known everything was just fine. Or the Ranger in me should have known.

He stood up straight from his crouching position. He seemed to me as if he just jumped down from a tree just behind where I was standing without me even noticing it, and maybe he did just that. Once again, I asked myself if I should praise such ability, a great advantage when used against the enemies, but a disadvantage when used against your own self.

I shook my head. "It is nothing, Legolas." I answered equally soft. I found myself unable to continue what I was about to do before I got distracted, that was to walk nearer to the Company and rest. Instead, I waited for him. He took a few steps and stood beside me, eyes on the fire.

"I understand." said he. "The surroundings, I can almost say, are safe. The trees and creatures of this land doesn't mind our presence." he reported.

I nodded, fully trusting his words. I, myself, felt the surroundings, and indeed, it wasn't as quiet and tensed as the places we had camped on before.

I looked at him and saw him focused on the sight of the Hobbits chattering about everything they found interesting. The fire almost made his hair glow and his eyes seem to be afire as well.

Legolas was beautiful, that I could honestly say, as all Elves seemed to be. Though the warrior within him made it a bit different. His grace was carried in his fighting as well as in everything that he did. And truly, I wouldn't hesitate to trust my life in him in battle, as I had done many times before, and I was sure to do again as this perilous travel continued.

He turned to me, question in his eyes. I looked away, inwardly guilty for staring longer than what was appropriate, and shook my head.

At that moment, Sam called for us, for our meal was soon to be ready. 

The Elf smiled at the Hobbit, being fond of the four, as the others in the Fellowship and I had become of them. "Don't dwell into things of both importance and unimportance right now, Aragorn," He said. "Come, let us take advantage of this peaceful night, and pray that nothing goes wrong at least until the dawn breaks," And he walked towards the others.

I watched unconsciously, his voice still in my ears. 

_I__t has been so long now, Legolas._

I ate in silence as I usually do, just listening in on the conversation, or at least pretending to do so. I sat away from the group, though not very much so, wanting to be alone. I finished my meal ahead of the others, and it was only then that I raised my eyes back to the Company.

Gimli was again narrating the glory of his kin, having found the hobbits as a good and responsive audience. My gaze then met Legolas' who I assumed, had also just finished his meal. 

I didn't know why I held his gaze longer than necessary. Perhaps I felt that there are things much more conveyed with the eyes than with words, or maybe I just couldn't find the will to look away. His eyes seemed to be deeper than the deepest sea, and I found myself drowning in them, not the first time in my entire life, but the first time since this journey started. He looked surprised for a while upon meeting my own eyes, and dare I say, found himself in the same predicament I was in. 

The conversation tuned out in my mind, and all was lost as I completely loose hold on any ground I had, and drowned myself even more. I didn't understand his eyes. No, I would take that back. Maybe I didn't understand him at all.

His eyes remained locked on mine while the others continued to be unaware of this. He looked confused now, maybe I was as well, though his eyes bore no question. They held great intensity that even I couldn't comprehend. Was that what you get for living so many years, Legolas? 

His eyes were expressive, having emotions clearly shown, but I found them very hard to decipher.

Finally, once again, Pippin didn't fail to go unnoticed as he announced that his hunger had been quelled. Almost at the same time, Legolas and I looked at him. Whatever tie there was between us was suddenly broken.

The young Hobbit stretched and yawned, and continued to ramble on.

I looked back at our Elf companion, and met his gaze once more, though this time, he looked away immediately.

I felt as if I had done something wrong for some reason, though I couldn't remember doing anything that was so. My eyes followed him as he stood up and deposited his finished meal with the others, his Elven grace evident in every movement.

"Whose turn is it to take watch?" Frodo asked timidly.

Gandalf looked around, momentarily forgetting whose turn it really was.

Standing up, I know sleep wouldn't be coming soon so I decided to volunteer and answered...

"It's mine."

...my voice combining with another.

The rest of the Fellowship looked at me, then at Legolas who had answered at the same time. I looked at him, a brow raised in question. He carried the same look I held.

"You need not tire yourself, Aragorn. I see you are weary as everyone here is. Sleep and rest well. I'll rouse you when I feel the need to lay my head down." Legolas said, as he prepared himself for the first watch.

I barely noticed the others, who thought then that it was decided, looked at Legolas. But I wasn't about to give in. Their heads then turned back to me when I answered again, though I gave them no more attention.

"Though the idea of sleep is so much comforting after a day's travel, I'm afraid that it will only elude me tonight. I will take the first watch. Go on ahead and have your rest." I said and was about to ignore what he was about to say. I wouldn't let him watch tonight, a sudden feeling of protectiveness, which I hadn't felt for years, crept upon me again, and letting him stay awake while I rest was not something I was welcoming, not tonight. Though I knew not why.

'I'm an Elf, Dúnadan,' He said, unconsciously slipping into the Elven tongue. 'And I can go on longer without sleep than Men can. I suggest for you to turn in for the night and rest assured that I'll sense when danger comes.'

The fluidity of the Elven speech from him directed at me made me stop for a moment, since he usually did not speak to me in that language in front of others. It gave me a sense of companionship between myself and him for it was only to me that he used his native tongue. Not even Gandalf had the pleasure of speaking to him that way beyond necessary. Then remembering our conversation, I shook my head at him and started to gather my things to prepare for a watch I was determined to take.

'I do not question your abilities, Legolas, and I trust you in a watch. You may be an Elf, yes, but I fear my heart doesn't allow me to let you stay awake while I rest in slumber.' I answered, also in his native speech. I stopped for a while, repeating to myself what I had just said. I looked at him, and he seemed taken aback by the words that left my mouth, words so foreign coming from me. I never was the one to speak my motives out in the open unless they needed be.

If we had been paying attention, we would have noticed the confused looks everyone gave us, as their heads turned back and forth to the Elf and myself trying but failing to understand what we were saying and the raised brow Gandalf directed on us, especially on me. But we weren't.

Legolas was about to say something more, when Gandalf stood and stopped the rising debate. "Since both of you wants to take the first watch, then we shall have two for the first watch. I do not wish to stay up all night just to see who'll take it."

I saw Merry nod in agreement as he shook off the initial confusion he felt and stretched his hands over his head. "Now that's decided, I would like to take a well deserved rest if I may say." With that said, he prepared his things and readied himself for his sleep.

Sam looked to it that Bill was fine, and went to cuddle with his makeshift bed as well. One by one, the rest of the Company drowsed off.

The fire was now dim. And slowly and gradually, it was dying and losing its flame.

It was then that I realized that neither Legolas nor I had moved from our positions.

I looked up to him, and saw that he too realized that as well. 

He said something softly, still in their kin's speech, which I could not hear. I felt as if his eyes were trying to get through me, but seemed as if they're failing. I held my breath as he continued to try. He then gave me a soft smile, and just shook his head. I felt the corner of my mouth lift in a slight smile in return. 

"You are still stubborn as always, Aragorn." Slipping now into Common Tongue, he said.

I smiled wider, the tension that seemed to hang in the air finally dissipating. "Perhaps."

He then jumped up on a large rock, and jumped further atop the large boulder that sheltered our campsite. He stood there in all his beauty and elegance, the moon making his already natural glow look ethereal as if he'd been sent by some god from above to guard over our Company. 

I shook my head from my straying thoughts. A smile playing on my lips, I momentarily forgot the dangerous journey that was still lying ahead. I looked up again and saw the Elf already doing his job, while I still stood unmoving since the lords know when.

I sighed, and shook my head once more. I followed his example and lacking the Elven grace and abilities, I climbed my way on top. 

It was not after a good half hour had passed since anything was exchanged between us. Before then, the silence was very well welcomed, and the knowledge of having someone beside you was comforting.

"The darkness entails fear and anxieties to us all, and it is so great not even the brightest light can chase the shadows away." Legolas said softly, having no intention of disturbing not only the others but the trees and the creatures of the forest as well.

"Yet in your company I feel at ease, and the troubles lie underneath our feet." I answered truthfully, though no trace of smile or merriness can be seen in my face.

He gave me a short glance just as the wind blew, leaving strays of his golden strands in his face, before bringing his eyes to the dark forest around us once more. "I'm glad to hear that."

"I'm glad to have said it." I said, wanting to reach out and put the strands of hair in his face in order. Though I was afraid years had passed, and our companionship once inseparable was no more than a mere acquaintance of a teammate to another. 

I removed my eyes from him and focused them on another things with less importance, like a leaf in a tree, or a harmless creature of the night searching for food. "It's been a while, son of Thranduil." I said.

He smiled, but he didn't answer, though I didn't expect him to. But after some moments, he said, "A while indeed, Dúnadan."

It had been years since I had set foot on the lands of Mirkwood, and though it might be nothing for an Elf, it was different for a Man. I was so much younger, rash and impulsive. Daring to enter unknown lands and meeting creatures of this world. The House of Elrond and the Elf-lord, himself, had given me enough wisdom for me to be able to live outside the protective borders of Rivendell, and live I did, for this long. I was thankful to him for it.

"I must say I missed the singing of your bow in battle." I said, telling nothing but the truth, but also hinting on something more.

He let out a soft laugh. "An archer is always missed, for he brings down enemies long before they even attacked." He said, without a trace of arrogance or pride, merely stating a general knowledge and fact.

I smiled wistfully. "That is not what I meant." I thought he'd understand that I missed his company, his friendship, the jests and the laughter and not only his skills in fighting.

He never failed to surprise me as he answered, "I know." His face grew thoughtful, as he raised his eyes to the heavens.

I turned my head to look at him, as another gust of wind blew. I absentmindedly reached out and tucked the loose strands behind his ear with a gentleness I was surprised to have.

He frowned in hesitation, ever so slightly, I hardly saw it, and looked away.

'Do me a favor and distinguish me from any of my kin.' He said slipping into his native tongue again.

It was my turn to frown. "I'm afraid I don't completely understand what you're trying to say." I said, still in common speech.

Legolas either didn't hear me, or just ignored me, dismissing my query. Most probably, the latter.

And silence had fallen on us again. 

After a while, he stood up. 

"I'll give the rest of the watch to you, wake me if you need to." He said, looking down at me, before jumping down silently.

"Legolas.." I cried out softly to him, and then jumped down myself. I have this uneasy feeling that he refused to stay in my company any longer.

He didn't turn around, and if he intended to do so, I could not know, for I grabbed his wrist though not forcefully. It caused him to look at me and he gave me a questioning look.

'Legolas, please..' I said, in a voice just above the sound of the softly blowing wind, using his own language. 'Do I agitate you?'

He almost sighed and lowered his eyes. ''Tis not you that disturbs me, but my own self, Dúnadan. I apologize.' he said, then made a move to continue his way to rest.

But I prevented him, my grasp on his wrist not tightening, but enough to stop him from going anywhere. I lifted my free hand and dared to reach it to his cheek, caressing it gently, forgetting all hesitations I could have had. 'Don't distance yourself from me, please.' I then tilted his chin to make him look at me. 'Why do I feel as if you've been avoiding me ever since this journey has began?'

He didn't look away. 'I'm not avoiding you, nor am I distancing myself from you.' he removed his hand slowly from my grasp. 'Whatever distance we have has been there ever since we've parted ways..'

I couldn't hold it much longer. I never knew up to this point that I still hold something for him. Acting on impulse, I covered his lips with mine and stopped whatever it was that he had to say.

Startled, to say the least, he responded hesitantly. And it was all the answer and assurance I needed to know.

He and I were friends, still are. Though I know not of when I stopped looking at him as a friend, and admired him for something more. It took me a very long while to realize and to accept such reality. I thought he felt the same. I stayed in Mirkwood for a period of time, and had done many battles and quests with him and his people too. The simple acts of kindness conveyed many, and the looks we often shared spoke thousands. Though I never knew for certain. I left even before we could figure things out. 

I asked him to come with me, though I knew there was a little chance of it.  He was a prince, and his kingdom needed him. He never showed any signs of sadness or grief with my departure and made me thought it was because there was none. He just smiled, and said, 'Farewell, Aragorn, son of Arathorn. The sun sets on us today. Be on your way! Pray you may have a safe journey ahead of you. 'Til the dawn comes and when our paths once again cross!'

It dampened the little hope I had. I looked at him then, and hoped that he saw through me for once. His eyes softened, and he seemed to understand, I thought and hoped he understood. Though I do not know for sure, words were not spoken any more. Then I turned my back and went on a journey I was to take. I hadn't seen him since, for a Ranger's life I had continued and taken.

And now, his lips on mine were beyond description. I tilted his chin further more, though I dared not touch him anymore than what I already was touching, for fear I might taint his untainted soul. The fading light of the fire lighted our forms a soft orange glow, as the moon cast our shadows long before our feet.

I knew the moment wouldn't last, though I was hoping it could have lasted longer. He pulled away gently, looking at me with his guarded eyes. I didn't know what to say. He looked at me as if nothing had happened, as if he was just saying that the area was safe, and no trouble was near.

'You belong to her, Aragorn.' He pointed at my chest, laying his finger on it, Elven words softly whispered.

I stopped a moment. Of course, I hadn't forgotten Arwen. My hand unconsciously lifted to my chest where he just pointed, holding the necklace underneath my clothing. I looked down, my guilt greater than I could bear at this point.

He needed not say anything more, and turned his back to me and walked away. He accepted and assumed that I was for Arwen. I thought I, myself, was sure about that. Though tonight proved me wrong, clearly and absolutely wrong. I loved her, yes, but there were, there are, and there will always be things beyond my knowledge and control. I didn't intend for this to happen.

_'You belong to her, Aragorn.'_

I was not even sure of that anymore. Maybe I wasn't sure about everything, but I knew something that I realized hadn't changed even after years. I looked up at his form, back turned to me as he arranged his pack. 

'Yet, my heart yearns for you.' I said softly, my eyes on him.

His movements stopped for a brief single moment. And I knew, at that point, he heard it. Then as the winds blew over our camp again, he continued what he was doing, ignoring what I said. Not soon after, he laid on his side, back to the rest of the Company, including myself.

I sighed, barely audible. My hand still holding the necklace hung around my neck, I made my way back on top of the large boulder to stand on watch again.

Realizations proved to be a great nuisance, for they always come late, and when least expected. I let my hand fall from its hold on the necklace and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Unspoken words need not to be uttered, though saying them still makes a difference.

**_01.31.02_  
continued **


	2. Words of the Wise

**_______________________________________________**

**Title: **_Things Unspoken  
_**Author: **Keithan  
**Disclaimers:** Lord of the Rings and its characters belongs to their respective owners.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Series: **2/5  
**Warnings: **This fic contains nothing graphic but involves certain matters, such as male to male relationships, that some might find offensive. Thus, this should be read only upon agreeing that one must proceed with an open mind and could accept the things mentioned above.  
**Summary:** Aragorn slowly learns once again of his feelings, pure and untainted, for Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both the Man and Arwen. 

**_______________________________________________**

** THINGS UNSPOKEN__________**  
part 2: words of the wise

Every day was a weight to bear and every step was a silent reminder of what lies ahead of us. Still, we continued on. Brave and undaunted, we journeyed the lands and still continued to do so until we reach our destination. Even that, we could not be sure of, for we were dealing with an enemy too powerful for our own good.

I completely ignored the coldness of the snow, or tried to do so at least. This path we had already abandoned, but how could we go back if Caradhras continued to act ill towards us?

I followed Boromir and tried to make a path for us to travel in, digging hard with my arms to set the cold white aside. The snow was almost breast high. The coldness burned through my hands, making them numb and unable to feel. But I gave them no attention. We must get a path done so that we could leave this accursed mountain.

"The strongest must seek a way, say you?"

I looked up when I heard Legolas' amused tone as if all this didn't worry him. I saw his smiling face and a playful look was in his eyes. Indeed, this did not bother him at all! Standing tall and proud atop the snow, as only he, among us, could do, he smiled to the hobbits.

"But I say: let a ploughman plough but choose an otter for swimming, and for running light over grass and leaf, or over snow, an Elf!" he continued, bringing to our memory a fact that we should have remembered. 

I found myself smiling, shaking my head. Why had we forgotten that we have him, an Elf, for a companion? He could walk atop the softest snow, and thus, Boromir and I had our heads up just to look at him, for we were half buried in the snow while he stood a few feet above us. He could scout ahead and see what moves were to be made.

He looked down and gave the two of us an amused look and with a wave of his hand, he went running ahead. He ran as swift as he did over normal grounds, not even hinting that his foot would pass through the thick layer of snow. I was glad he found this amusing. (Sarcasm only light, but present none the less. Boromir and I had a different situation compared to him after all.) At least one of us had light moods about all that was happening. 

I was pulled into deep thought as I looked at the lithe Elf as he disappeared from our sight. How unfitting it was for me to even think about him in a different light than that of a friend and a comrade. But if there was a known way to stop the heart from longing for someone, then I could resort to that. And free him of my hold, and myself from the yearning of my weak human heart.

Would I? If I could?

Probably... not.

I was afraid the feeling I had for him had resided long enough in me that without it I'd feel empty, incomplete, and lost. If he felt the same, I'd like to believe it mattered not. For my heart beats on its own, and the emotions in it would never be changed by anything or anyone, except for time. But it did matter. The mere thought of him feeling the same brought a joy in me, but sorrow as well.

As much as I'd like to hold him, I could not. I was not worthy of such grace, of such comfort. And I could not do as such without thinking of how selfish I was in doing so. I'd crossed the lines nights before, and it only brought out a guilt that I carried now. A guilt I was welcoming, with open arms yet with head bowed.

Ah, Arwen, how could I bring myself to face you? I was drowned in my own confusion. I couldn't bring myself up to the surface and meet your loving eyes. Believe me when I say, I love you, but my heart stood in chaos! It called also for him, and the least I could do was bow my head in helplessness, if not in shame, and embrace the guilt that all this carried.

Maybe I knew not the difference of love and loved. And I didn't know where one ends and the other begins. Could it be possible that I loved you both? Or I had loved you once, and now my heart longed for him? Or was it the other way around? Arwen, my Arwen, I no longer held the right to claim you as mine. Not until my mind cleared from the fog it had been clouded by, and my heart followed a path clear of any cliffs, could I say something with finality.  

Oh, how my heart screamed for him, though I couldn't deny the feeling it also had for her.

"Aragorn, we should be continuing now, if we want to at least leave this cursed place." Boromir said, calling me out of my reverie.

"Hush, Boromir! Speak not of such things, for if it is as you said, then we might encounter more trouble before we could have the chance to leave this path." I said, gently reprimanding him. 

"I'd be damned if it lets us pass without any perils encountered. But as I can see, it is against us, and now we must toil hard to get out of this.. place."

"You are right, let no more things delay us. Go on! Let us continue what we started!" I said, as I continued to clear a path again.

Boromir then nodded and turned his back and worked his part. 

The snow brought the cold back into my hands again. But leave here, we must. So I ignored it once again.

The darkness was almost too great to bear. It seemed to stretch out endlessly in these dark corridors. The only source of light was the soft glow of Gandalf's staff, which was left open. The light was just enough for me to see where we were staying and each of the others' forms.

I had no wish to re-enter these mines, but fate had proven itself against me, as it had many times before. Hence, I now sat here in the Mines of Moria for the second watch for tonight, relieving Boromir of his earlier.

I didn't even have the slightest idea if the great sun, outside this darkness, was hidden to make way for the moon and the stars. I had no way of knowing. In here, it was only the blackness of the surroundings that could be seen. 

The distant sound of the tip-tap and the plick-plock of dripping water echoed through the empty corridors, sounding louder than they usually do outside this confinement. Usually, the silence meant danger and trouble, but this was neither a forest nor woods. In these mines, the silence was a blessing, for there were no trees and animals to make noise, and the only noise must come from us. Other than that, other noise could be dangerous.

I wished to leave here immediately, but I could not. The fact that I couldn't shake the feeling of dread in me didn't help at all. It seemed as if we were bound to pass here for some ill reason. 

I gave a glance to my companions, lying some distance from where I sat, each huddled in their blankets, only the soft light of Gandalf's staff aiding me. It'd be almost painful to wake them up in their deep slumber. Frodo's face didn't carry the worries he had and no trace of the burdens that were placed on his shoulders could be seen. So unguarded when asleep. That went the same for the other three hobbits, welcoming very well their rest after a whole day of traveling.

I let out a breath I was holding, and leaned back on the wall, trying to at least achieve a state that had a slight semblance to relaxation and hoped that the tension in my body slips away. That was all the rest I was going to have while I was on watch.

I looked over to where Legolas was lying down, and I felt myself frown. From this dim light, I could make little out of his face. But a little was all I need. His face carried not the unguarded look that one usually had when sleeping. Rather, he seemed troubled, and uneasy. 

These mines and such confinement would do him no good, and bring him no peace. I feared that as long as we were in here, the Elf would not have a peaceful sleep. Dear one.. if only I could wipe the anxiousness off his face, I would. If only I could fly him off from this place, I'd be happy to do so. If only I could prove myself worthy of even his slightest affection, then I'd gladly wrap him in my embrace and never let him go.

But what was I, but a mere human. I could do no more than live my life as it played before me.

"There are only a few times I saw you unwary, Aragorn." I was startled by the voice, and turned my head and saw Gandalf standing before me. Was I that deep in my thoughts I hadn't even felt him move? Or had I fallen asleep?

"And this is one of them." He sat down beside me, smiling. What could I answer to that? True, I rarely dropped my guard, even when sleeping.

"I'm just human, Gandalf. My mind must've drifted away." I just said, returning his smile softly. 

"May I ask where?" He immediately asked, surprising me.

"Excuse me?" I said. Did I hear him right? 

He let out a soft low chuckle. "My Aragorn, you seem to be a bit on the edge lately." I was?! Had I failed in a fight? Had I gotten anybody in trouble? I rethought of the past days, looking at where I could be possibly seen as what Gandalf had said. Probably reading my face, he amended, "No, no. It is not what you think."

I waited for him to elaborate more, but he didn't and just remained silent for a few moments. I didn't push the subject further, for I was more concerned in what he was doing awake, instead of resting and having his sleep. I was about to ask when he spoke again.

"I asked you where your mind drifted to, aren't you going to give me an answer?" He asked, an eyebrow arched in question.

My initial reaction was to give Legolas a quick glance discretely, before turning to him again. "Nothing in particular, my friend," I answered. "Why are you not having your rest? We have a long way tomorrow, and I'm sure you'd want to be rested before then."

He smiled, waving his hand. "Ah.. I wouldn't be able to catch a wink anytime again, so I might as well keep you company." He said. 

I nodded, understanding and thanking him. We fell into silence soon after. So silent, my eyes were again turned to the Elf's sleeping form in the far side of the room. If only I could clear the haze out of my mind and think more clearly...

"There are things that the eye can't see but the ear can hear, Aragorn, just as there are things that the mind couldn't comprehend, but the heart can decipher."

I turned to him, a look of question in my face. Had he seen where my eyes lay? The tone of his voice suggested something a whole lot different, yet still similar from what he said. My mind had been thinking more often lately, and I just had to ask him about it instead of dwelling for forever in its meaning. "In riddles you speak, Gandalf, and usually it brings me to think. But you seem so sure in what you say, and I can tell you know more than what you show. Is there something I do not know, but I should? Tell me, what is it that you mean?"

"You know what I speak of, son of Arathorn. A choice you have to make, but a truth you have to learn and reveal first." He said, meeting my eyes. His own seemed to go through into my being, reading me like an open book. I just had to look away, afraid he might see something I was not willing to reveal. I shouldn't underestimate the Wise. They knew a lot beyond what they show, and Gandalf looked as if he had an idea of my current situation.

"On the surface everything is calm, yet underneath, the turbulence is great. Am I not right?" 

I sighed. He knew me too well. "Days have passed, and things remained unchanged." I said, and hesitated. "Things were as they were."

"You couldn't expect him to change overnight."

Now I really couldn't look up to him. He'd finally said it straight. I needed not ask who he was referring to. I sighed. I couldn't answer him right away. I glanced over to where the others were, and they were far enough to not hear our conversation if they were awake.

Gathering the will to speak, I did. There was no need to speak in verses and riddles anymore. "He had.. He'd pointed out that I am for.. I belong to.. Undómiel." I said, my head bowed. "But.. but somehow, it doesn't feel completely right." How could it be, when I longed for him as well?

"What he holds for you is not something I can answer." Gandalf said. If only he could answer that. I didn't know how the knowledge of Legolas' feelings would change anything, but I still would wish to know them, for it was not something I was sure of. Legolas was so guarded sometimes, while maintaining the image of being so open. Maybe he was indeed open in some ways, but there were things that he would only reveal if he wished to. 

"And what you hold for him as well," He continued, making me stop to think. My feelings ran deep, that, I'd learned and realized just these past days. But were they deep enough?

I gave Gandalf a side-glance, seeing his face with a thoughtful look, looking at nothing in particular. "He had willingly let you go, when he is yet to have you," He said, almost to himself. He then turned to me. "But 'tis not what you want."

Trust _the_ Gandalf the Grey to choose his words so simply, yet so full of meaning it pierces the heart with its clarity. "At this point, I have no clear concept of what I want. He's acting as if he knows nothing of what I'm going through, although I know he knows. Maybe not entirely, but he knows." I said, nearly saying that Legolas had been acting as if nothing had happened nights prior, about a week ago, but Gandalf didn't need to hear that from me, even if there was any way that he knew it already.

The Elf hadn't spoken to me about what happened. And it was true what he said, he wasn't avoiding me, maybe not entirely, and not consciously. Yet, there was still this big distance between us that I wanted to diminish. Once or twice, I'd attempted to have a word with him, but all times, he managed to keep the subject at bay.

It was true. I didn't really know what I wanted now. I'd want him to talk to me, speak to me, and just stay in my company. I'd want to feel his lips on mine again, and savor the sweetness and care it seemed to hold. I'd want to see his smile again, the bright smile that lit his face, directed at me. But I also wanted to see the Lady Arwen, smile at her, meet her eyes and be able to clear my doubts away. So many things I wanted, yet I couldn't have.

"He's someone of nobility, Aragorn. He knows where he stands. Though it is _you_ who doesn't know where to set your feet around him." The wizard answered.

I gathered enough courage to look at him. I found sincerity in his eyes and the friend I had for so many years was there.

"Knowing him, he'd stay away as much as possible from you to leave you to your thoughts."

"But I find no comfort in my thoughts! They do not make things clearer as it already is." I cried out, though still maintaining the softness of my voice. My thoughts was leading me nowhere. I was going around in circles, landing with no definite answer.

"Maybe not now, but sooner or later you will. And pray by that time, it is not too late." 

I wished what he said was true. I looked away, and leaned forward, occupying myself by looking at my hands. _"But what do you mean by too late, Gandalf?"_

Without looking at the wizard, I asked, "Tell me, my friend, what truth do you speak about? What must I learn?" My voice more softly now.

There was silence. He didn't answer. After a while, I heard him move and he stood up. He took a few steps to where his blankets lay. I sighed, being hopeless. I had to figure this out all by myself then.

"'Tis a truth that only your heart must and can uncover." I looked up, and he had stopped a few feet from where I sat. "One thing outweighs the other, though knowing which is which is the task that'd eat you from inside out if you allow it."

Another riddle for me to think about. Although the words seemed light, they carried a hundred meanings underneath. When I realized he was not going to say more as he continued to make his way to his bed roll, I called out softly, so as not to awaken the others.

"Pray tell, Gandalf the Grey, how come you have knowledge of these things? Am I that open for everyone to read, or only to your eyes that had seen many?" I almost forgot to ask how he knew. I was not really surprised, but it would ease me to know how exactly it came to his knowing. Was it when Legolas and I had exchanged more words in a night, than the previous days of our travel combined, all because of a silly watch? I could think of nothing more. That was really the first real conversation between us besides the short ones, which carry no meaning at all.

He turned around and smiled comfortingly. "No, my friend. Worry not for your actions conceal yourself almost perfectly." he answered. "He, on the other hand, is as hard to read as you, or harder if he do so wish." 

Gandalf, you have no idea how very true your words are.

"But the truth is there for the one who knows where to look." He said. "Your eyes tell me everything, Aragorn. Though you may conceal them to others, so unguarded I always caught them to be. And the incident with him nights-or is that a week?-ago started my noticing."

I was not mistaken then. I nodded, and dismissed the thought. He was about to turn away but stopped and looked back, dropping me another thing to think about before he went to be rested again.

"A thought for you, Dúnadan. Know when you see the Lady in his form and back away. He'd be able to feel if he's seen as another. Though he may constantly warn you of that, even though you think of him as him, and not as someone else."

_'Do me a favor and distinguish me from any of my kin.'_

Legolas' words came back to me and it was only then that I understood what he meant. But did I see him as her? Was that it? I reached deep into my mind and heart for an answer. Maybe there were times I compared them, unconsciously comparing their Elven characteristics, but that was before I realized that I still held feelings for him. I think, now, I could honestly say that I didn't see her in him. They were different, and yet similar too, in ways I could never explain. A paradox. Still, Legolas in my eyes, would remain as Legolas. 

And Arwen, as Arwen.

Another night full of pieces of a puzzle I was determined to piece together. My love for Arwen was true, but my love for Legolas was also present. How could they both reside in my heart without me being able to prevent it?

I closed my eyes momentarily and an image of the fair Elf came to my mind. No matter how I wished to maintain my eyes closed, I had to open them again and face the darkness once more.

I felt myself being lightly shook to awareness. Being the light sleeper that I was in conditions such as this, I opened my eyes and found the least expected person I would see.

"It's time for us to continue our way." Legolas said as he dropped his hand to his side. "Help me rouse the others."

I frowned, thinking. I remember that Samwise and Pippin had the next watch after mine. Why was Legolas the one awake? I quickly looked around and saw everyone else, still with the help of Gandalf's staff, still asleep. He moved to stand up from his kneeling position, but I instinctively laid a hand to his knee, stopping him, all thoughts fled from my head. He turned to me again in question.

How could he deny the feeling I had for him? His face was a complete mask of innocence, a mask of a teammate. Was I only that to him, when he was so much more to me?

I looked at him in the eyes, and again, I couldn't read anything clear in them except for the questioning look he gave to me. But they were, as they always had been, a torrent of emotions, with great depth I couldn't reach. His brows then furrowed in confusion and question, and I uttered words I hadn't planned to utter.  The words seemed just a rush of air from my lips, for they were even softer than a normal whisper.

"Please tell me that the short moment of contentment and comfort I've shared with you was as real as you standing in front of me now."

He blinked his eyes in surprise. He was cornered and he had no way of evading my inquiry. He didn't look away from my gaze as I saw him thinking of what to say or do.

He opened his lips, but closed them again. Words had abandoned him. My eyes urged him to answer and he sighed, giving up.

"It was as real as the sun in the day and the moon in the night. And will continue to be real if you believe it to be so, but will cease if you forget it and deny it." He finally said, and moved to stand up again, determined to leave the conversation at that.

But I stood immediately and took hold of his wrist to make him face me. I felt his breathing quicken, just as mine did as well. "Then it will be real as long as this heart of mine beats and as long as the sun and moon shines their light." I unconsciously slid my hand to his, and slipped my fingers between his own. When I realized that, I didn't do anything to separate my hand from his silken one. I searched his face and eyes under the dim light once again.

He looked down at our joined hands, then up again. His eyes shone with slightly concealed sadness and hesitation, and I could tell he wished to turn around and forget this encounter. 

Maybe after a lot of debating in his part, he slowly lifted our hands, disentangled his fingers from mine and laid his open palm against my own, seemingly touching his reflection on a mirror. My palm against his.

"Then let it be so." He said softly, lifting his eyes from our hands against each other, to mine. I held his gaze and it seemed that I could forever stay and loose myself in his eyes like this.

Suddenly, all too soon, the spell was broken as a sleepy yawn was heard. Why did this always have to happen? He brought his hand down and looked at Gimli who was starting to awaken.

He looked back at me and nodded once in a silent dismissal, his face once again remained neutral. That face of a teammate, a comrade, a friend. I was afraid his sense of respect and dignity prevented him from letting his guard down any longer. 

Without another word, he walked away and continued to wake the others. 

It was then I realized the pounding of my heart, so fast and so loud that I had to stop and breath in deeply for a while.

Truly now, I hated myself. Must I be so fickle?

Gandalf's words echoed in my mind like drum beats in a cave.

A truth to be revealed, before a choice was to be made.

A truth, a choice.. a reality.

Oh great God, why must I be the one, of all creatures walking on Middle-earth, who was torn between two great things, which would be near impossible to let go? I looked up and gave Legolas a glance as he was waking the others, before turning away. I couldn't be selfish enough to hold them both close in my heart. 

Yet..

Yet, my heart was weak and the courage to do otherwise has been blown by the winds to a distant place I couldn't reach. Without it, I was helpless.

**_02.08.02_  
continued**


	3. Blinding Obscurities

**_______________________________________________**

**Title: **_Things Unspoken  
_**Author: **Keithan  
**Disclaimers:** Lord of the Rings and its characters belongs to their respective owners.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Series: **3/5  
**Warnings: **This fic contains nothing graphic but involves certain matters, such as male to male relationships, that some might find offensive. Thus, this should be read only upon agreeing that one must proceed with an open mind and could accept the things mentioned above.  
**Summary:** Aragorn slowly learns once again of his feelings, pure and untainted, for Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both the Man and Arwen. 

**_______________________________________________**

**THINGS UNSPOKEN__________  
**part 3: blinding obscurities

My heart was heavy of the grief it carries. A grief so great it pulled me down to the ground and beyond, and continued to do so, because of the great emotions it was calling for. Not even the sight of the sun's light could lift me up from where I'd plummeted with my sorrow and pain.

The light was not very welcomed, as we had thought it would be after spending days in darkness. In fact, our escape from the mines was left ignored as the pain of loss ate us away. What we felt could not be even put into words, for what are they but only a limited way of expressing one's self? 

Gandalf had fallen. 

The Fellowship once nine, was down to eight. And it brought not only tears to our eyes but sorrow to our soul as well. We'd lost a vital member of the Company: a guide, a companion, and a friend.

I lost a friend so dear to me, and the mere thought of it could bring me to my knees in endless crying had I not lived the life of a Ranger and learned to cope up with things the world throws upon my path.

With all my will power, I stood tall on a rock, overlooking a course that we would have to pass. Silently listening to the sobs of Frodo as he was calmed and comforted by Boromir, and the soft crying of the other hobbits, I mourned with them. 

We had stopped there longer than what we thought, for it was only until we were free from the darkness' hold that grief came upon us with a crashing force, leaving the whole Fellowship in silent weeping. Gimli sank down into a rock, unable to stand any longer as I could see despair filled his face. Boromir, a man much like myself, stood behind Frodo in silent agony, head bowed and his eyes were distant. Legolas' face portrayed his sadness as he passed his pain-filled eyes over the Company, before casting them down to the ground and he grieved himself.

With Gandalf's fall, the burden of leadership was upon my shoulders. A burden I would not willingly take if I had a choice. But even then, I still had to. I held a responsibility over them and it was not my nature to shy away from what I was tasked to do.

"Legolas," I called, not looking over my shoulder, for I feared that I might break down in tears once I take one look at them. When I knew he turned to me, I asked him to get the others ready.  

"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Boromir cried out, his own voice filled with the sorrow each of us shared. Legolas was already getting the hobbits up on their feet, gently comforting them as well. I would have wanted for us to stay much longer, giving each of us time to cope up with the loss. But the light was not going to last forever, and the area wouldn't be safe if we stayed much longer.

I looked at him and said, "Orcs would be swarming these lands by nightfall. We could not risk staying here any longer." I resheathed the sword I didn't notice I was still holding. "Come, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas, get them up." The man of Gondor bowed his head in acceptance as he moved to help in getting all of us ready.

The blanket that covered us, once fear, was now overwhelmed by sadness. And I knew that the days ahead would reflect what it was that we held now in our hearts and minds with the loss of a valued companion. Our quest had made a drastic turn from what it was before.

I turned my eyes to the horizon before me. I would have to prepare myself for the journey that we would have to continue. I only prayed that I would be able to lead this quest with enough wisdom for us to choose the right choices and the right paths, or rather the best choices and the best paths.

_"Gandalf, give me the strength to continue what you started."_

'Everything is ready, Aragorn.' I heard Legolas' voice just behind me and somehow, the smooth flow of Elvish words calmed me. But his melodious voice that once brought joy to my heart every time it reaches my ears, especially when directed at me, was stuck on a tone that could only mean sorrow and grief. And although it brought calmness to my otherwise raging emotions, this only reminded me of my own sorrow, and it nearly succeeded in bringing me down to my sadness.

"I only hope I am as well." I said softly, mostly to myself. I know naught of the troubles we were bound to face, and thinking about it made me hesitant as I already was. I was ready to continue, yes, ready to lead them. But I didn't know if I would be ready to face another loss if it walked to us again. Yet I knew, in this journey, I had no choice but to be ready for all things, be it good or ill.

Legolas took a step to stand beside me, his hand unintentionally brushing mine as he did so. 'You are not alone, my friend.' he said, his voice as soft as the softly blowing wind. His keen eyes were focused on the vast lands that lie before us, seemingly looking for comfort in the greens of the forests. "You have us with you."

I looked at him then, feeling the the grief slowly hiding itself away somewhere within me.

His touch brought back feelings other than grief to my heart and body, and his words brought back strength to my soul like no other could. And I found the courage to hold my head up high again, knowing I stood beside him, beside them all. This event would certainly not be forgotten. We would forever carry the pain of loss with every enemy we slay, and every choice we would have to make.

I looked at him, and he turned to meet my eyes. My sorrow was reflected in his own eyes but I saw there a friend ready to support me through this all. I smiled softly, thankful for his friendship. I looked back at the rest of the Company, and each of them meeting my eyes showed respect for me as their guide, and comfort as their friend.

_"Gandalf the Grey, I would try my best to be the leader you would have wanted me to be. Know in our hearts, your memory would forever stay."_

The soft cracking of the leaves beneath our feet seemed to be part of a natural orchestra in the lands of Lothlórien. The singing of the flowing rivers, and the delicate melody of nature filled the surroundings.

It brought peace to my troubled soul. This quest had gone on long enough, yet still not halfway through. And as my body released the weariness it carried, the grief of loss slowly took its place.

The faint singing voices of the Elves, sweet and melodious, reached our ears. I turned and looked up to where it was from, as did the others, captivated by such beautiful sounds. It was a song in their own tongue, and I try to listen to its words.

Our own Elf companion, standing a few steps ahead from where I sat, was also listening. After a while, I saw him turn his head away sadly and closed his eyes.

"A lament for Gandalf.." He whispered.

My ears heard the melody and my mind interpreted the words. 

_"Mithrandir, Mithrandir, O Pilgrim Grey!"_

"What does it say?" Frodo asked clearly addressing the question to Legolas. He did not fully understand what it meant. He raised his hopeful eyes to the Elf. 

I watched Legolas as he opened his eyes and raised his head to the hobbit. I awaited his answer, for I knew that the song was a song of lamentation, and it neither brought comfort nor peace to him as his eyes show.

Legolas shook his head once. "I have not the heart nor skill to interpret it for you." he said softly. I looked at him intently as sorrow passed through his eyes. I knew fully well that he could interpret the song, but he just refused to do so. He turned back to where the singing came from. "My heart believes 'tis still a matter for tears and not yet for song."

"Can't you even translate a few words?" Pippin asked suddenly without even thinking. I looked at him to silently reprimand him, but I saw it was not needed as Merry elbowed him lightly in the stomach.

"Nay. I cannot. The grief is still too near."

We fell into silence after that. No one had the heart to speak.

I felt the sleep slowly leaving my body as I opened my eyes to greet the darkness still. The sun had not yet risen, and the moon was still in the sky. I looked around and the others were still deep in their slumber.

Legolas was not among them. Instead of being worried of his absence, as I normally would have been for a missing companion, I just wondered where he would be at this time. It was just natural to find him missing for he would probably seek solace in these woods, or with his own kin. 

I stood up quietly, rubbing the sleep from my face, and headed out of the pavilion. I needed time to think of everything that had happened. I needed time to fully be aware of the great responsibility that had been passed on to me. 

The feeling of the cool night air on my face soothed my rested but still weary body, and calmed my soul. I took in a deep breath, savoring the smell of nature in this peaceful environment.

Leaving the pavilion, I hadn't expected to spot the Elf sitting a few feet ahead on a log, back turned to me. He had his gaze set on something in the distance. His bow and arrows laid beside him yet he seemed to have no intention of picking them up anytime soon.

I was torn between ignoring him and staying with him and keep him company. The thought of him wanting to be alone prevented me from just sauntering over.

But alas! My heart had already chosen even before my mind began the process of thinking.

I walked over and stood behind him but he didn't give any recognition of my presence. Before I spoke, I told myself not to mention any matter that would bring about grief. Thus, our fallen comrade would remain only in my mind and I was sure, in his as well, and would only be uttered when the subject would call for it. I no longer wished to bring grief to him as well as to myself.

"What are you doing here, Legolas?" I asked. "Aren't you going to give your body a rest as well as your mind?" This was our first night within these borders and this was the first night I could drop my guard and be at ease. No evil would come upon us as long as we stayed here, and finding him not resting at all confused me.

He didn't answer, nor did he give me a sign that he had heard what I said. A few moments passed, and he let out a soft sigh. "The trees call for me, and I can do nothing but succumb to their bidding." He finally said. His voice only a whisper, he did not turn to face me. "I find peace here, and peace does not come often in this journey. I wish to experience this night free from troubles with myself aware of it." I smiled slightly. It was just like him to prefer to spend such serenity within these borders awake, rather than sleeping.

I stepped over the log and sat beside him. I turned my eyes to admire the forest before us. "Then allow me to share the peace with you."

I felt him turn to me as he gave me a glance. "If you wish." He said, before looking back. I turned to him this time, and was almost surprised to see his hair flowing freely without any bands to hold them back. The soft breeze caressed his golden tresses and it surrendered to its invisible touch, flowing without restraint.

My breath was caught in my throat in seeing him. Innocence, he showed and beauty, he portrayed.

He turned to face me then, probably feeling my eyes on him. "Is something the matter?" he asked.

Trying not to make a fool out of myself, I shook my head and smiled. "I never thought I'd see your hair unbraided and out of its band," I said instead.

He looked at me in mild surprise, as if realizing that I just saw his hair down for the first time. His hands lifted and stopped. It looked like he planned to fix his hair back, but then just decided to let it be. He smiled softly before turning his eyes to where it was laid before. "'Tis a sign of my unwariness, Aragorn. Be glad you don't see it often in this quest." He said as he raised his hand and combed it smoothly through his hair, which fell back nicely on his shoulders as if it had a will of its own.

"Sign of unwariness?" I asked, surprised at how he could consider the state of his hair as such. But even so, it seemed appropriate, for he looked so innocent as a child, and as fragile as a glass with his hair unbound. Any trace of the admirable fighter and the skilled archer in him had receded deeper into himself, letting the more vulnerable side of the Prince to the surface. 

"No one, save the people who raised me, had seen my hair in such state of undress." said he. "I made it a point to keep my hair out of my face every time. I'm an archer, an archer of royal blood, no less. I never let it down in public. So does many other male elves, for that matter."

I smiled, a light of understanding came to me. Although others might not see the connection at all. I was a soldier in a battlefield too, and I also had my own 'signs of unwariness'. And I noticed that most male Elves, especially a warrior and combatant like him, were fond of keeping their hair in such a way it would not hinder any movements at the same time giving the look of nobility and dignity. 

Having been raised in the House of Elrond, I hadn't really given it much notice before. But indeed, I rarely saw Elladan and Elrohir's hair undone. I did not know the exact reasons behind, or if there were any. But in Legolas' case, it was his sign of unwariness, a sign that he was letting his guard down for just short moments.

I now knew what he had intended to do when he lifted his hands. He had every intention to put his hair back again upon realizing it was down before someone else. Yet he didn't. He chose to let it be. I felt so trusted. My heart sang its joy for that trust, if there was indeed any. He had allowed me this brief moment to see him not just as the fighter in a battlefield, but everything that was he. 

"Then it is to my greatest honor," I said lightly and jokingly to mask the seriousness of my thanks. "To be able to see you right now." 

He let out a soft laugh. "Do not push your luck, son of Arathorn, you've learned too much for one night." He said, telling me, albeit not straightforwardly, that he no longer wished to reveal other unknown things about himself. "Braided or not, you'll have an arrow pointed at your throat if you say anything more about my hair." Threatening me good-naturedly, he slightly flipped his hair from his shoulders with a movement of his head.

I laughed myself, joining him. "'Tis good to talk to you of things besides danger and peril, Legolas." I answered, not venturing further into the topic in respect to his privacy. "I hope we could do this more often."

"The road to danger is the path we're taking, and I fear that times like this would be less and less as the days pass by." he said, smile fading from his face and shadowing the light mood in just one swift statement. Then, as if realizing the change, he quickly added, smiling once again, "Though I believe talking about my hair isn't what you meant." 

I laughed softly. "Surely, such trivial things aren't as insignificant as we perceived them to be." I said. Truly, the talk about his hair opened doors to a part of his being which I hadn't known before.

"It depends on how such things are discussed, Aragorn," He countered. "Non-trivial matters could be unimportant if the turn of discussion leads them to be so."

Why, oh, why must any private conversation I participated in be turned into something of an intellectual discussion, an exchange of words filled with wit and meaning other than its literal one?

"Yes, but sometimes, such turns are necessary," I answered. "In order to have a wider grasp and understanding of the concept of the reality that's being discussed."

"True," He said, shrugging a bit, letting his body relax in an almost childish manner. "Still, the borders of reality and fantasy are so faint one might miss it if he doesn't give a closer look."

I stopped for a moment before answering. His words were screaming for it to be remembered and understood. It ruled the connection of the mind to the outside world, whether or not we choose to live in fantasy or reality. 

"The truth in your words is grave. Such is the way of life." I said, remembering my musings for the past days. "Fortunate is the one who could distinguish where one ends and the other begins, without spending much time dwelling on it." I said, thinking how unfortunate I was if that would be the case, for I had been trying to do that for a while now, trying to see where one ends and the other begins, but I was yet to succeed.

He looked at me and said. "And fortunate is the one who dwells on it to be able to separate one from the other, rather than the one who doesn't even try."

I opened my mouth to answer, but closed it again for no answer was forthcoming. If his words were true, then I'd like to believe I'd be fortunate enough to find light to know where my true-or better yet-greater emotions lie.

_"One thing outweighs the other, though knowing which is which is the task that'd eat you from inside out if you allow it."_

With the memory of a lost friend's words, I was again pulled back to the uncovered truth of my emotions, too abruptly to my liking. 

As Legolas turned his head towards nothing in particular once more, we fell into companionable silence.

It was in the silence, as nature continued to sing its melody, that my mind cried out again, and my heart was seeking out the answers for every question I had, and Legolas sitting beside me didn't help at all.

I knew he would keep his mouth shut on the matter between us as much as possible, not wishing to be a barrier between Arwen and I. But I wouldn't be able to say the same about myself, I couldn't, wouldn't be able to remain forever unspeaking without being true to what I feel, and without being true to them both. 

Once again, I missed Gandalf's counsel.

The wizard spoke true, I knew not where I stood with him.

But I was determined to know. 

I gave him a side-glance, and unprepared for what I was going to say, though I could say I was prepared for whatever reaction I was going to get, I inhaled in a large amount of air and started, "Legolas, I.."

"The sky is clear above us tonight, and the moon is only faint." he suddenly said, making me look at him immediately. His eyes were raised to the cloudless heavens above. 

I sighed inwardly and waited for him to finish.

He didn't say anything more than that, and I, once again, prepared myself to speak, even though I knew naught of the words I was going to say. "Tell me, Lego.."

"A night in Lothlórien almost makes me feel that troubles and peril are but a fantasy."

"Legolas!" I said in no more than a whisper, reprimanding him gently when I realized what he was trying to do. Twice I was cut off, and it was too much of a coincidence. "You do not make this any easier than it already is." I thought I was prepared for any reaction I'd get from him, but I didn't expect him to dance around the subject and avoid it _this_ much.

I heard him sigh, and he bowed his head, running his fingers through his hair once more. 

"Please, Legolas.. At least listen.."

I didn't know if it was the tone of my voice, the look in my face or the movement of my body that gave everything I had to say away, though even I was not sure of them. But almost as soon as the first words left my mouth, he had his hand up to stop me, still looking down.

"Ruin not this night, I beg you," his soft voice echoing in my ears. 

How could he say such a thing?

"Ruin?" I said, incredulous of what I heard. "You think by speaking sincere words it would bring ruin to this night?" Surprised and offended, I frowned in question at him.

"Nay… It is not that." He answered, shaking his head and raising it to look at me. "There are things when uttered brings nothing but more confusion. I am not making any of this harder, or easier. I'm leaving things as it should be, as it should have been from the start."

"Well maybe some things should not be left alone." I answered, tone still soft yet firm. When he didn't answer, I continued, "You told me once and I tell you now, what is between us is as real as the sun in the day and the moon in the night. Why not give me a chance to discuss matters with you?" I hoped he'd give us the opportunity to figure things out together. 

He shook his head. "As sure as the sun rises, it will also set. There are matters which best remain not to be talked about." he said, countering every point that I said. "Let these things remain unspoken."

"You couldn't deny any of this ever happening, son of Thranduil. If that's what you're trying to do." I said, shaking my head, my voice no longer a whisper as I began to feel the sadness covered by anger and annoyance in all this denial. "You could not. And you couldn't deny that there are also things that should not remain unspoken but said and heard."

Legolas sighed, his hair falling gracefully forward, obscuring my view of his face.

"Maybe you are right, but you have a life ahead of you after all this, and I doubt it includes any other Elf other than the fair Lady." He answered, looking straight at me again.

I silently admired him for the way he spoke of Arwen with high respect and reverence. But the thought was quickly pushed in the back of my mind as what he said registered in me.

'Why must you be so stubborn?' I asked in Elvish untintentionally, very much frustrated.

'Why must you be so, as well?' He asked soon after.

Challenging each other with the fire in our eyes, we were both defiant. Not wanting to back down, but willing the other to do so.

Victory was on my side. For a split moment, his eyes shown defeat, along with slightly veiled sorrow and he sighed and looked away.

Going down to a whisper again, he said. "Let's just leave all things as they were. Then no harm will come upon any.."

'Any, but our own selves, Legolas!' I said, standing up. Raising my tone to normal speaking voice, but never to the level of shouting. Somehow, I was able to express more emotion with it in Elvish and even I, was surprised of its intensity. I was unable to control myself any longer. 

Standing before him, I looked down at him as he sat there on the log. 

Why must he be so unwilling to listen to my side? Why must he be so afraid to step in my life to the point of sheer denial? An Elf of nobility, yes, but how could someone be noble in every sense of the word if he chose to live in blindness?

He did not meet my eyes. "I understand not what you are saying." In a voice too formal and uncaring, he chased the warmth away from my body. The coldness of the night suddenly crept up my feet to my entire being, numbing me and freezing me on the spot. That had hurt.

I thought there was something special between us, yet, it seemed I must had been mistaken.

'You speak words too harsh for me to handle at one time.' I said, voice stripped of any emotions. My vision began to blur, not of tears but of blind emotions, which any moment now, would all be rushing out of me if I would be unable to stop it.

'To which I am sure you'll thank me later.' he said, words hard and bitter to my ears, yet they were spoken with the softness and misery his voice was conveying, which I, in my present state, didn't notice. At this point, I was seeing a foe, and not a friend. He was a wall, a great wall I couldn't destroy.

Anger seized me and I shouted, trying to shout out what my mind and heart exclaimed as one, "I'll be damned, Prince of Mirkwood!! But lord knows that I l.." 

He raised his head to me. His eyes bravely meeting mine, and its gaze bore into my heart, challenging me, daring me to continue what I was about to say. 

A single movement, and I was lost. My strength had left me. 

Stumbling over my tongue, tripping over my words, reality falling hard on me, as all coherent thoughts came back to my mind, I couldn't, for the life of all things on Middle-earth, continue such confession. As quickly as anger took over, it left me again, leaving me helpless as I already was.

He stood up, his eyes leveling mine.

And I realized victory was short lived. I looked away and shook my head. "I'm sorry I bothered you." I muttered out softly.

I took one step back, and another, and over the log. I, struggling to remain tall and proud, turned and walked back to the pavilion, entering it soundlessly as I had exited it, which I now wished I hadn't. For all this would never had happened.

As soon as I was nearing my resting place, I realized the graveness of our exchange, and my body had gone heavy. I gripped the nearest stand I could get hold of. Tall and proud had left me.

'Tis I that was at fault. 'Tis I who was betrothed. 'Tis I who was supposed to be in love with only one. Yet it was also I, who realized his love for another too late.

I was blinded by my hurt I didn't see the reasons behind his actions, his denial. He was merely preventing me from my own fall.

Still, I couldn't deny the fact that I did love him.

But I couldn't even voice that out, voice what my mind had just realized for the past few weeks and what my heart had been screaming for the moment I fell.

...Fell for him.

How could I expect myself to find the courage to realize the weight of my emotions?

Arwen, dear Arwen, what had you got to say for such man as myself?

Gandalf, my friend, I bowed my head in shame.

Once again, my heart was heavy of the grief it carried. A grief so great it pulled me down to the ground and beyond, and continued to do so, because of the great emotions it was calling for.

Grief, for I was given a heart to feel, a mind, to think, and a tongue, to put into words these feelings and thoughts, and yet, I had failed to use all three wisely.  

**_02.27.02_  
continued**


	4. Hurt Through My Eyes

**_______________________________________________**

**Title: **_Things Unspoken  
_**Author: **Keithan  
**Disclaimers:** Lord of the Rings and its characters belongs to their respective owners.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Series: **4/5 (Interlude)  
**Warnings: **This fic contains nothing graphic but involves certain matters, such as male to male relationships, that some might find offensive. Thus, this should be read only upon agreeing that one must proceed with an open mind and could accept the things mentioned above.  
**Summary:** Aragorn slowly learns once again of his feelings, pure and untainted, for Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both the Man and Arwen. 

**_______________________________________________**

_**~INTERLUDE~**_

_**º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º**  
"I'll be damned, Prince of Mirkwood! But lord knows that I l.."_

_Sea-grey eyes met challenging blue ones._

_Silence._

_Grey turns, then, softly, "I'm sorry I bothered you."  
**º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º o º**_

__

**THINGS UNSPOKEN__________   
** part 4: hurt through my eyes

My vision, as I stared blindly at the pavilion, was partly obscured by my hair flowing freely with the soft breeze, clearly opposing the feeling I was having now. I felt so restraint and caged. I was like a trapped eagle wanting to be set free into the wild again and feel the wind underneath my wings as I soar high over many, many leagues.

My body shook like a leaf being kissed by the wind and like ice that was once hard, I seemed to melt. It took all of my will not to collapse then and there. And my heart, the one thing that would suggest of me being alive, was pounding loudly in my chest, so loud that it was all that I hear. 

No rustle of the trees, nor of the creatures of the night. No singing of the flowing rivers and the wind had suddenly stopped from blowing. 

So silent. Caras Galadhon, I heard, had never been silent.

It was as if nature knew of my agony, and with all respect, quieted down to sympathize with me.

I found it hard to breathe, as though my lungs were being crushed by a large boulder I knew not from where. I inhaled deeply, and to my surprise and panic, I couldn't feel any air enter my system any breath I exhaled was shaky. I tried again, and again, my hand gripping my chest, my shoulders heaving, until at last, my body seemed to function once more, and my breathing, although ragged and shallow, had returned.

Did I not tell him to not bring ruin to this peaceful night? 

But I was afraid in doing so, I contributed in doing just that.

I looked down at my side, my bow and arrows had lain forgotten for a moment. I closed my eyes briefly, trying, but mostly failing, to compose myself. With trembling fingers, I gathered them and placed the quiver on my back. Glancing at the pavilion where the fellowship was spending the night, I unconsciously gripped my bow. After a few moments, I turned and ran to where my still uneven legs could take me. I could stay there no longer.

The surroundings were but a blaze of some greens and reds, and mostly golds and greys, as I ran through them.

I stopped and went on slowly, one step at a time. My hand on a tree trunk, I realized that I had no reason to run and any reason I might had was now probably back sleeping with the others. My steps faltered and my knees had gone weak, and so unexpectedly, they gave out under me. 

What caused me to surrender to such weakness was something I couldn't answer.

I knelt there, having no intention of standing up soon. In the middle of the glorious trees of Lórien, I was leaning on my palms that was gripping hard on the soil underneath them. In my present state, I couldn't even admire and recognize the beauty of the forest around me.

I asked not for this to happen. I avoided it as much as I could. But what trickery did the gods, the lords, or whoever was superior than Men, Elves, Dwarves and all creatures alike, had bestowed upon me!

I had turned from him once more, yet why did I feel I had my heart taken away from me, ripped from its cradle in my chest without minding if its holder should live or not?

I should be glad. Glad that he had no strength, no courage, or, to give more grief to myself, _no will_ to continue to utter such words of confession in front of me. But instead, here I was, filled with grief, because of the hurt he had unconsciously caused me, enough to kill any other. But I pride myself for my strength, and fall I would not.

_"I'll be damned, Prince of Mirkwood! But lord knows that I l.."_

That you what, oh Aragorn? You what? I wanted to say to him, spat it out in his face, but I did not. I did not let it pass through my lips, but I couldn't say I didn't let it pass through my eyes either, because I did. I looked at him, challenging him to continue if he could. But to the uneasy relief of my mind, yet to the utter dismay and disappointment of my heart, he could not.

I was but an enigma to him. I was no more than a confusion, I supposed. I was no fool to not know he meant to say that he loved me. But did he? Really? Or was he just confusing me with another? If he couldn't utter those words while looking into my eyes, then how could I believe the certainty of his feelings? 

He had been long parted with his beloved, and I had to be sure if all this was anything more than a distraction and not a mere illusion before I truly face him without holding anything back. And that would only happen when his mind clears of any cloud that had passed him. But as of the present, he had been dancing around his feelings for me, probably trying to decipher where it lay in his heart.

If only he could look into my eyes and show me the certainty and depth of the feelings he had for me, then I could, for a short moment, forget the boundaries of formality and friendship.

But how could I forget and put aside my honor and my rightful place as only his friend and comrade if he would not give me any reason to do so? If he stutters around his words, stumbles on his confusion, and falls because of his self-blindness, how could I face him with my feelings and emotions laid out for him to see? For all I know, he would someday turn his back on me and face his life as the King of Men...

...with his Lady beside him.

Sixty-nine times, if my memory serves me well, had the red leaves fallen in Mirkwood since he had left after his longest stay there where we first met. Situations now weren't as easy as that time. Carefree, we were, and close friends we had become. Yet he looked at me in a different but comforting way. I could clearly remember those emotions in his eyes as he looked into mine, emotions I was not sure I'd want to name. 

Yet as I looked into his eyes now, veiled it was with doubt and confusion, and I just had to turn away. Times that those orbs spoke true and sure were rare, rare but his heart was there for me to see, and those times, I couldn't, for the life of me, turn away. I was captivated and frozen under his gaze. I cherished those chances and held them in my memory for he looked at me with all the care I could ask for and more - a reason why I couldn't simply lay aside the continuous growing feelings I had for him.

Such a deep pit hole I'd fallen into. 

But thy lips on mine, Estel of Rivendell, and your insistence had not only reminded my heart of my feelings for thee, but had nurtured them and let them grow!

What now shall I do, but say no for the both of us? 

Denial, any could call it. I partly do. But I also was stirring us away from a path that would be harder to leave once on it.

I couldn't let myself go. For my honor holds me back as it rightly should, and with all respect for him and especially for Arwen, I could not and should not let myself go.

I loved Arwen and the thought of myself helping in breaking her heart was not something I was welcoming. A sister to me, she doesn't deserve to be hurt the way she'd be if my betrayal was known to her. Betrayal because my feelings to her betrothed had taken a sudden turn, from being in slumber to full awareness. But let it be said that I suppressed my feelings with her and her beloved, Aragorn, in mind.

And by Elbereth, I loved Aragorn, more than my own life. My love for him had grown. I couldn't lead him to his fall!

This sacrifice was one gift I could give to him, for his happiness, even though not now, but in the years to come.

Yet my fear was still present. Fear that I wouldn't be able to hold myself any longer if he'd keep coming. Each hesitant step towards me that he had taken had driven me one step back. 

And what would I do shall I ever find myself backed up against a wall?

I honestly did not know.

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing all this was no more than a dream. The soil in my hands had been the most unlucky thing at that moment in all Middle-earth for I gripped it with all strength I had.

Silence. The trees remained quiet as an Elf suffered in their midst. I was and I am a child of the woods, and now I find myself in its very cradle, battling an inner conflict.

O Valar, I couldn't stay like this for long! 

I shook my head to clear my mind of the troubles that had dwelled in there. 

I was Legolas, I was Thranduil's son! I shouldn't let this bother me any more than it should.

I urged myself to wake up from the nightmare I was experiencing. I couldn't be selfish enough to drown in my own despair and not think about others. I had a quest to finish with them.

Taking in deep breaths, I composed myself. And after a while that seemed to have lasted forever, I slowly stood up, brushing the soil from my hands and knees. I bent down and retrieved my bow, which had fallen beside my feet.

I looked around, and indeed, the forest was glorious.

Once again, as if realizing my moment of complete instability, weakness and agony had been laid to rest for the moment, the trees sang its melody, the trickling of water somewhere was heard, rustles of leaves and of nocturnal creatures came to my ears and the wind caught my hair once more in its invisible hands. 

I closed my eyes and just listened.

_Avoid thy fall, oh Dúnadan, by maintaining our friendship and nothing more. _

Your heart already belongs to Arwen.

Hours before dawn found me beside the flowing river that branched out from Silverlode to a smaller body of water that runs across the city. My bow and arrows was laid beside me and in a smooth rock I sat.

Adept fingers run through my hair as I skillfully braid them back to place.

My eyes was focused on the flowing waters that was like a clear blanket with shining crystals as faint light from the waning moon that was now low in the west touches it. 

At least another hour before the first crack of dawn would be seen.

A slight change in the air and a very light addition to nature's sound and I glanced through the corner of my eyes to my left before concentrating once more on the final braid. Finishing it, and tucking it behind my ear, I said aloud in our Elvish language, 'How long do you plan to stay hidden, oh brother?'

Silence. I didn't mean to startle him, if I ever did, which I highly doubted. It was supposed to be the other way around. 

Then more loudly this time (by loud I mean as loud, or as soft as the rustles of leaves in the forest), footsteps were heard from behind me towards my left. 'Very keen are your senses, young Prince, I'm sure you've been told.'

'Nay, Haldir,' I said, not turning to face him. 'It just so happens that I had all my mind focused around me to avoid dwelling on things I refuse to dwell about.' I said, arranging my hair so it falls on my back and not on my shoulders. I picked up my quiver and inspected the arrows in it, more to occupy myself than to really check on them.

'Is that so? And what things, if I may ask?' He had bridged the gap between me and himself and he sat on the ground beside my rock.

My braids were up, my guards were down, the archer had returned and shrugging my shoulders I nonchalantly said, 'Nothing much,' I wasn't called an open mystery by many for no reason. I had ways of concealing myself. 'Things like what you are doing here when I thought you had been sent back to the borders and such.' I answered, smiling at him.

He laughed, albeit he held most of it back. For the sake of formality? I do not know. It was a soft musical sound. 'You turn the tables on me almost too quickly. I didn't know a northern prince could be so sneaky.'

'It wasn't I who was hiding in the shadows just now, Haldir.' I pointed in a matter-of-factly tone.

He shook his head, amused. 'Yes, yes, you have your point.' said he. I could feel that he was trying to lift my spirits and was not bringing up anything about our quest. I was grateful for that. 'I'm set to be off to Nimrodel today..'

He was about to say something more when he looked back and I tensed, both of us feeling someone approach.

My initial reaction was to stand up, get an arrow and bend my bow. Halfway through the process, I felt utterly and completely like a fool. These lands were safe and no danger would be near. 

'As I said, keen are your senses, and fast are your reflexes!' Haldir's soft chuckle reached my ears and I glared at him, or at least tried to, embarrassed as I was.

I raised my eyes and embarrassment slipped from me, as well as the arrow from my hand, as I stared into the depth of the eyes of Aragorn. 

'Estel..' I suddenly whispered. 

Surprised claimed him in meeting me here, and I very much felt the same way. All my senses seemed to shrink from being extended to the forests around us to the sole being standing in front of me. The surroundings were just a mere swirl of colors in my vision as I looked at him standing a few paces away from me. I was unable to do anything, my breath was like a big lump in my throat, for lack of a better comparison.

If I had not been too occupied, I could have seen Haldir notice my behavior and spared me a look before turning and greeting Aragorn.

"Ah, Aragorn. Come! Sit, and join us." Haldir's voice, now speaking in Common Speech, was but a distant echo in my ears. 

"I.." Aragorn started, not breaking from my gaze. I could have sworn he would start stammering and stuttering, very unbecoming of him, but not unlikely after our exchange hours earlier. I saw that he'd been troubled as I had been and would be again if any more pain was to come out of this conversation. "Uh, nay, but my thanks." He said. "I was just walking around. I'm sorry I bothered you two.."

My blood froze, my body stiffened. 

And he, he who did not seem to be thinking better than I, immediately clasped his mouth shut as soon as those words left his lips, the familiarity of them probably sinking in. All the hours of peace I spent here to rid my mind of the earlier incident had gone down with the flowing waters, wasted.

A quiet cough and I blinked my eyes, reminded of Haldir's presence sitting down beside my feet. "Good dawn, my friend. And no, you weren't of any bother." I said, surprised at the calmness of my own voice. A weak smile was on my face. Somehow, the greeting tasted very much bitter to my tongue. It was good that etiquette required no more than that as necessary for a greeting. But it was not good for etiquette requires an answer back.

"Good dawn to you too, Legolas," Then he looked away for he turned to the other Elf. "Haldir." He said, nodding.

"Would you not join us, Son of Arathorn?" Haldir asked, and I silently prayed he'd decline. I didn't dare to raise my eyes to him again, and focused them instead on Haldir, as if listening.

"I'm afraid I can't. I was just up for an early morning walk. This land brings peace to me, fair as it is." He said.

"That, it is." Haldir answered. "But all that is fair must very well be taken care of."

"Aye, Haldir. You are correct. I learned that the hard way." He said. I felt the familiar feeling of being stared at, and I looked up, seeing he had his eyes (that was once the eyes of a humble king, now seemed to be the eyes of a humble servant) on me, pleading, regret in them. 

I frowned slightly, whether of curiosity or lack of understanding of him by me, I knew not for sure.

"I'm supposed to be going back now, for anyone would be waking up any time soon." He said, turning to the Elf of Lórien.

"I would be just seeing you around then, Aragorn." Haldir said, nodding to him.

Aragorn did the same. He looked my way, a short glance, a brief nod and he was off.

Is that how we were supposed to work now? I had caused him pain, and he did likewise. And now we wouldn't be saying anything more in order not to inflict more damage? 

'Sit down and calm your racing heart, Legolas, before your body decides that standing up is such a big effort and let itself down without your consent.' Haldir said, after a while, making me realize I still hadn't moved. Logical, practical, and straight to the point.

I looked at him and faked a smile. 'Very funny, Haldir.' I said lightly, sitting down on the smooth rock once more, and noticed the fallen arrow on the ground. I reached for it, but Haldir got it first. 

'Your eyes tell me of your current predicament with him, Legolas. And his tells me he is in a very much the same situation.' He said, using Elvish again now that Aragorn had left.

I shook my head, smiling at him. 'It is nothing, Haldir. It is not something of importance.'

'It is if it affects you and him as integral parts of the Company.' He examined the arrow as he turned it around in front of his eyes. 'Hazy are the things between you two. I could see.' He said. 'I'm not blind.'

The wind blew over us and the leaves that manages to fall from the trees swirled in different patterns as it descended to the ground. I got an arrow and placed it in my bow, bending the string. My eyes focused on a distinct target among the falling leaves.

'I wish I could say the same for him, Haldir.' I said. There was a sharp twang as I loosed my arrow over the river and it hit a tree trunk in the other side and two small leaves, a slightly red one and a gold, were trapped in it.

'And how I wish I could say the same for myself as well.'

Times I had spent with the company had become lesser and lesser as each day pass. Whether Aragorn had aught to do with it, I was not sure. I didn't want to think about it. 

I couldn't help it. My heart leaps with joy to be here in Lothlórien at last and there was so much to see! I was afraid I'd run out of time if I didn't spend it fully. 

Aside from the grief that had resided in my heart for the loss of a valued companion and the sadness for the longing in my heart, I was overly pleased for such privilege to stay in these lands. If only this stay was under different circumstances, then I couldn't ask for more.

Aragorn and I had not had any more untoward encounter after our first night in Lórien. And it was as I had thought, a brief nod, a short glance, a soft smile, then our heads would instinctively turn away. That, or we just hadn't had the chance for I spend more time frolicking with the Elves.

Rays of light that managed to pass through the thick roof of leaves made patches of white on the forest floor. As I looked ahead, 'twas as if I was looking at a work of art came to reality and I stare in awe once more at these forests I now walk in.

"Slow down, you Elf! I have not your skill on moving about the forests." The rough voice from behind me stopped me from moving any further. I looked back and laughed.

"Why, Master Dwarf! Is that a compliment I'm hearing from you to an Elf such as myself?" I said laughing, pretending to be surprised. He grumbled and muttered under his breath as he stumbled in an uprooted tree root, continuing to climb the slope we were taking.

"Oh, for all that is fair, Legolas, spare me!" He said and at last, he reached me.

I was about to say another bicker when a chill came down my spine as a soft breeze blew, and somehow, for me, it seemed like a whisper, a call. The melody of the forests seemed to turn into just an echo, hollow sounds softly vibrating in my ears.

I looked back at Gimli to see if he felt it and he was looking at me in an odd manner. 

"What is wrong now, Elf?" He said, annoyed, or at least pretending to be so.

I frowned and did not answer. I looked around to see what was wrong to cause me to suddenly feel unease.

'Clouded is the path from him to thee. Yet clearer it will become when the sun rises once more, chasing away the blackness of the night.'

Startled as I was, one name came into my mind. Galadriel, the fair Lady of this forest. I immediately turned around, half expecting to see her there. But there, she was not.

What did she speak of? Though my mind questioned that, I had long known the answer. She saw things that was yet to be seen and perceived things that was yet to be revealed.

I was anxious, afraid. I feared what would come out of her lips or her mind that was directed at me. Would she tell me to forget the love in my heart for the mortal? Would she show me the sadness of myself, Aragorn, and even Arwen? What else would she reveal? What more was she willing to unravel and uncover?

'Thy judgement is wise, yet time will come when things would be taken from your own hands. And what will come will come.'

Clear and musical her voice was, so ethereal and surreal. But somehow, it neither brought comfort nor happiness to my soul. I looked around for any signs of her being anywhere near. But I found none.

The trees suddenly seemed to loom over me, hiding me in their long, foreboding shadows. Somehow, I felt I was turned into a stranger to the forest, or this forest at least. And my feet longed to move to go anywhere but hither.

'Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Elven Kingdom in Northern Mirkwood and Son of the King Thranduil, pure is your heart yet tired it is of being held back.'

Her voice rose and I continued to look around, frantically looking for the body that would go with the voice. Even though I knew not how that would comfort me. 

'That, which is strong, would not be held captive for long.'

Now but a feeble whisper, her words were carried by the winds in its wings to a faraway place I knew not where. Slowly, the spell had passed and the trees seemed to smile on me once more.

"Oi, Master Elf! What has happened to you? So ashen your face has become!" Gimli's voice suddenly became a bellowing sound to my ears and my head immediately snapped back to him. 

Concern.

Shaded, partly concealed, but it was there and I smiled. A friend, Gimli, that was what you were becoming. 

"'Twas nothing, Gimli, son of Glóin." I said instead, shaking my head. The soft, melodic voice of the Lady Galadriel, I was sure, would long remain in my mind. "Let us go on ahead for there are so much things I'd want you to see." I said and turned my back and started to walk once more. 

_'Thy judgement is wise, yet time will come when things would be taken from your own hands. And what will come will come._

Though I might not understand or know what _would come_, I'd like to believe I was prepared.

I skillfully maneuvered my way, avoiding young plants and tree roots. My steps were light and soundless. Hearing grumbles and mutters, I would guess Gimli didn't had the same skill. I smiled to myself and shook my head.

Whether or not I'd ever find myself out of the deep pit hole I'd fallen into, I would never regret any of the feelings I had.

I stopped and soon after, Gimli came up behind me. I could only hear his soft exclamation of admiration as he stared at the city of Caras Galadhon, its glory unveiled before our eyes. We were standing in a place that overlooked a part of the city. I found this the day before.

I, too, looked on. Deep admiration and gladness in my heart. I smiled, despite myself.

If all this agony, sorrow, and grief was what comes in loving Aragorn, son of Arathorn, then I gladly would welcome every downfall, every hurt, every sadness and every pain that would come upon this immortal life of mine, for eternity it would take ere my love would fade away.

**_03.27.02_  
continued**


	5. Things Unspoken

**_______________________________________________**

**Title: **_Things Unspoken  
_**Author: **Keithan  
**Disclaimers:** Lord of the Rings and its characters belongs to their respective owners.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Series: **5/5  
**Warnings: **This fic contains nothing graphic but involves certain matters, such as male to male relationships, that some might find offensive. Thus, this should be read only upon agreeing that one must proceed with an open mind and could accept the things mentioned above.  
**Summary:** Aragorn slowly learns once again of his feelings, pure and untainted, for Legolas, who out of respect and love, stays clear off his path sacrificing his own feelings for both the Man and Arwen. 

**_______________________________________________**

**THINGS UNSPOKEN__________**  
part 5: things unspoken 

Blank.

Except for the numerous sounds and melodies that registered in my mind, and the images and visions that my eyes see, my mind was currently nothing but an endless white horizon, for lack of a better analogy.

Blank.

I had spent too much time brooding and thinking I was afraid my mind was already too tired of it. But I doubted it would forever remain that way.

Dusk had settled over the land and the sky was a palette of orange and red and purple and blue.

The crunches of leaves underneath my feet, which were heavier than those of an Elf's, were what occupied my attention now. Head bowed and eyes directed downwards, I mused on how one foot overtakes the other in order for one to walk. Funny how I never seemed to notice that before, when I noticed the slightest mark on the earth.

For years I had studied the ways of a Ranger, knowing and understanding signs upon seeing them. A bent or a crushed leaf may mean nothing to others but a lot to a Ranger such as myself.

Yet even with those knowledge, knowledge of the wild and knowledge that I had acquired for living more than eight decades had left me helpless in dealing with matters that concerned not only myself but other people too.

Being a Ranger couldn't help me now, could it?

Nay. I must face this as who I entirely was.

And the Ranger was merely a part of that.

I continued to walk aimlessly through the trees of Lothlórien. I had not seen Legolas much for he stayed among the natives of this land most of the time, often times bringing Gimli with him.

I missed him.

I softly kicked a stray stone in my path and watched it as it rolled forward.

_...bouncing_

_...rolling_

_...rolling away from me_

Truth be told, I missed him.

The stone stopped. It stopped its roll as the leaves blocked its path. Without me kicking it, it would remain unmoving unless another would apply enough force to move it. I wondered then if I had been the force that had been moving Legolas to act against myself.

I sighed. I had not heard his fair voice in the Company, whether in song or in verse, as often as before.

The wind blew softly and the stone I had my eyes upon was partly covered by some leaves that rested on the forest bed. 

_...obscured_

_...clouded_

_...vague_

I felt the loss of his presence, just his mere presence among us.

_...longing_

_...missing_

_...craving_

I missed him.

I had not heard his laughter, which was very pleasant to listen to, for a long time now, not since we had entered Moria..

Or.. since he and I had talked during our first night here.

I closed my eyes wanting to forget the whole encounter. I hadn't meant to end it the way it did. I had lost all strength at that time it left me mute when words needed to be spoken.

_...weak_

_...coward_

_...unworthy_

I had let my emotions carry me away leaving all thoughts of logic and practicality behind.

I crouched down and let my hands just feel the ground. Did he walk this path too? Did he pass by here and left a mark? Probably. But I doubted it. Legolas' footsteps were light and were very hard to detect.

I owed him my apology.

Apology for loving him? No! No, indeed! For even if I found myself torn between, my love for him was never unwelcome in my heart. It had lived there for so many years.

How could one possibly not welcome the feelings that had resided in his heart? In doing so, he would deny a part of his existence in which that feeling had eventually evolved.

_... a mask_

_... and endless pretenses_

But I had to apologize for I had been forcing him to face me when I knew not for sure what I wanted from him.

I should be the one who was supposed to be turning away for my feelings were the one that needs clearing. I couldn't be any more selfish than what I already was by wanting him to talk openly to me, when I, myself, couldn't give him a conclusion to all this.

I wondered what he sees when he looks at me? Was he seeing me as nothing more than a selfish, fickle Man succumbing to his weak human heart? I would not be surprised.

Though selfish I might think myself to be, a human, I just was, moved by human emotions. I couldn't stop my heart from beating for someone, especially if it had been, as I learned, beating for that someone longer than I expected.

And my heart was calling for him and that call left me torn in between.

But I wondered..

I wondered if it would stay that way for long or if my heart would sooner learn the answer to Gandalf's riddle.

Even though it would pain me to discover that, it was the only remaining unselfish act I would have to do: learn where my heart truly lies and face it and not live denying my true emotions in the process hurting not only myself but both of them too.

The sun had already hidden itself yonder behind the mountains in the west. I must be heading back now.

With Gandalf already lost in our midst, but certainly not in our hearts, I was the one whom his responsibilities were now laid. Our grief of his loss and weariness of the quest had been nearly forgotten as days went by. Each day in this land slowly eased the pain and the grief that we felt.

Yet when the time would come that we must leave these borders, I would have to lead them. Wisely and knowingly, I must. Even now, I felt my hour drawing near and I didn't know if I should be glad about it or not.

Sounds of merriment and cheerful songs drifted to my ears and I stopped, entranced. The music penetrated my soul, bringing in happiness with its tune. And as if on a spell, my feet headed towards the sound.

As I was nearing, I saw the soft orange glow of a fire reflected in the tree trunks that surrounded it. 

I briefly remembered the fire that always seemed to be burning in Legolas' eyes everytime I looked at them and find myself lost. A very passionate soul, pure and innocent, he had.

I took in the sight of Frodo and the others, clapping merrily with the tune all the while laughing. They were sitting in a circle in a small clearing, where a fire was lit in the middle. Some Elves on the other side had a leaf on their mouth, producing a sound that complimented each other, creating an interwoven melody along with the plucking of strings, stomping of foot and clapping of hands. Also joined in by musical voices once in a while.

I smiled, thankful for the cheer that the Elves brought to our company. Nobody had yet noticed my presence and I started to enter the clearing, intent on heading towards the others.

As I made my way, I turned my eyes to the center of the circle and, as if squeezed, my heart seemed to skip a beat and I stopped. My sharp intake of breath in surprise and awe was left unheard to anyone for it was covered by the cheerful sounds.

There in the middle was Legolas, in all his grace and majesty, wearing a white silk shirt, much like what most Elves of Lórien wear, with two other Elves wearing the same thing. All three were gracefully dancing around the fire in synchronized movements, probably an Elven folk dance. A chiffon cloth on each of their right hand, the Elves waved it above the fire repeatedly, as they danced around it, so fast that the tongues of flame weren't able to touch the soft and easily flammable fabric.

_step..._

_sway..._

_turn..._

Time slowed for me as my eyes take in Legolas and his graceful and smooth movements, as if it was the very first time I laid my eyes on him. From there on, all logical and coherent thoughts fled from me.

The music echoed and was but distant beats to my ears. I could tell my mouth was left hanging open but still I couldn't move my eyes away.

_stomp..._

_clap..._

_whistle..._

His hair was flowing behind him never tangling in its wake and always falling neatly behind his back or on his shoulders, only to be flipped back again as his movements followed the tune.

_"Braided or not, you'll have an arrow pointed at your throat if you say anything more about my hair."_

A smile was on his face, and the longing in my heart for that smile to be turned my way was only strengthened now.

_"You are still stubborn as always, Aragorn."_

Turning around, he, and the other two, twisted the fabric in both hands before releasing it again, wrapping it around their body, and pulling it slowly, letting the soft fabric caress their arms and waved it consecutively above the fire again.

_"Don't dwell into things of both importance and unimportance right now, Aragorn."_

The melody slowed and gradually became a menacing tune. The change of mood was reflected in the Elves' movements. The merry tune was then turned into a battle song.

_"The darkness entails fear and anxieties to us all, and it is so great not even the brightest light can chase the shadows away."_

The clapping stopped, the stomping of the feet became louder and lower. I watched on as Legolas took the hero's role, smile now gone, as the other two portrayed his foes.

_"The borders of reality and fantasy are so faint one might miss it if he doesn't give a closer look."_

He turned to where I was standing, then he raised his eyes and saw me there. And to me, there was only the sound of silence and him.

_"I don't understand what you are saying."_

No melody, no clapping and stomping, no singing. Just him, myself, and the silence of the night.

_"Ruin not this night, I beg you,"_

The fire highlighted his features, dancing its light in his face as he tensed, momentarily forgetting the dance.

_"It was as real as the sun in the day and the moon in the night. And will continue to be real if you believe it to be so.."_

My vision of him blurred and faded, and there was a sudden fear aroused in me of losing him.

_"Maybe you are right, but you have a life ahead of you after all this."_

No, I wouldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let such treasure slip away from me.

He was surprised in finding me there, surprised enough to stop in mid-movement. His face partly covered by the diaphanous cloth.

_"As sure as the sun rises, it will also set. There are matters which best remain not to be talked about."_

One of the two Elves, I could faintly see, came near to him, still following the beat, acting like the foe that he was, sword in hand, and said something to him, most probably reminding him of their fight dance.

He blinked and turned away, continuing his performance by drawing out the sword that hung from his hip. Movements as fluid as water and as swift as the wind, he stepped and turned and danced around the fire like a god and a fighter at the same time. The thin cloth followed him like a visible wind on his tail. The sword dance left me more in awe than before. 

_'Do me a favor and distinguish me from any of my kin.'_

As the hold I had on his eyes left me, I wished to have it again.

_...the darkness slowly lifted_

_and the clouds slowly cleared..._

Then everything seemed to be clearer.

His laughter came to my mind, and his smiling face appeared in my vision.

As I watched him fight off the other two in a dance-like way, it finally, at long last, dawned on me.

_"'Tis a truth that only your heart must and can uncover."_

I loved him.

A deafening silence suddenly came to my ears.

No sound could be heard...

No sound save for the beating of my own heart in my chest...

_"There are things that the eye can't see but the ear can hear, Aragorn, just as there are things that the mind couldn't comprehend, but the heart can decipher."_

Crashing into me like a great flood of water, the depth of my feelings immediately became known to me. The world for a moment, spun before my eyes. I reached my hand to a nearby tree to steady myself or just to assure myself I wouldn't be losing my foot hold any time then.

_He has loved him the moment his heart found yours  
Hidden and tucked away in a corner of his heart,  
Such emotion has blossomed only now,  
Such a long time...  
Long enough to cause him pain and suffering..  
_

Bringing my other hand to feel the necklace that lies in my chest, I closed my eyes tightly. I inhaled deeply, trying to compose my otherwise unstable self.

_How can one be so blind?  
How can one nearly lose such precious treasure?  
Let it just simply slip through his fingers?  
Like crystal clear water..._

The stomping of the feet seemed like hollow drumbeats to my ears. It suddenly became very loud that it covered the other sounds I was hearing.

Undómiel.

_My lady, listen to this unworthy man..._

_*Boom, boom, boom*_

Arwen. I had loved you, true and pure.

_Yet 'tis a love that blinded him to a much greater love..._

_*Boom, boom, boom*_

But hear me. I ask not for your forgiveness, for I am not worthy of it, but still..

_But still, listen to such a noble confession, such honorable apology..._

_*Boom, boom, boom*_

Three words. Three words that I know would close a door and open a new one.

_Three words that would make him a brave man to have accepted and faced it..._

_*Boom, boom, boom*_

My Lady, I am sorry.

_Faced the fact that he had been weak, and had been swayed by his emotions..._

_*Boom, boom, boom*_

I took a few deep breaths before I looked up, with a new light in my eyes.  


_Such brave soul..._

The melody once again reached me, and it was now back to its merry tune, the danger had passed and the hero had triumphed. And finally, it reached its conclusion.

Legolas, after making a final wave with the cloth, stood still and the two 'foes' kneeled around the fire. The fabric in their hands was spread above their heads and fell on their back to the ground, looking like wings so thin I could see pass through, yet so ethereal too.

_...to have searched for the truth and faced it..._

The cool night breeze blew.

_..Selfless, and not selfish..._

_He had fallen in grace, yet he had every right to be proud..._

Legolas met my gaze and instead of me being lost in them, unable to move, 'twas I who pinned him now with my eyes.

_"There are things when uttered brings nothing but more confusion."_

If he believes that words between us would bring more confusion, then let them be reserved for later and let my actions reach out to his heart now.

I smiled at him.

_...proud of his courage to have faced and accepted his weakness..._

The darkness had slowly passed me by and the day was dawning on me once more.

_...and the courage to let go..._

His eyes widened in surprise and he blinked back the moisture, which I could vaguely see, that had suddenly welled up in his eyes. The faint glimmer the fire reflected in his eyes told me that was so.

My heart ached of the pain it had caused him and of the pain it would still cause to others. But I had seen my mistake and I had realized my faults.

_...And for that, it made you worthy of their love..._

And now I must do what my heart had been telling me to do all this time, to straighten the path from myself to him.

He didn't even give a sign that he heard the round of applause everyone in the circle gave them. And it was only until his other two companions stood up that he turned to them, smiling, exchanging remarks and laughing.

I closed my eyes briefly just listening to the musical sound that his laugh had created.

"Legolas!" I heard Pippin called, and I turned to regard our young hobbit. "Master Elf! Truly, you are a magnificent creature!"

He spoke words so true it brought a smile to my lips. I looked back at our Elf as he laughed again at the hobbit's comment.

"Indeed, 'tis true!" Frodo exclaimed, laughing and clapping his hands.

"You speak of Elves in general, young ones. 'Twas only a dance." He said, then let out a melodious laugh again.

"Non-sense, Legolas! The hobbits spoke true!" Boromir said laughing, bringing into words my thoughts. Although lacking the enthusiasm the four hobbits had, I could see that his grief and worries was laid to rest for the moment.

Legolas gave me a hesitant glance before heading towards our Company and even then, he was bombarded with non-stop comments and questions that I could not understand.

I inhaled deeply and now I was set.

As a gust of wind blew, and the fire once more, danced and flickered wildly, and as my mind had cleared and my heart finally unburdened, I took the few steps around the circle, that seemed like a hundred, that separated myself from him.

Before anyone could say anything more to him about the Elven dance he just performed, I passed by Sam and Merry and stepped inside the circle and faced him. He was less than an arm's length away.

His gaze was set down and he sighed very softly, I barely heard it. 

He knew.

He then looked up at me. I felt as if I was looking at a brave yet still fearful child that had lost its mother. But I could see it in his face that he was expecting me to back away and mutter a foolish excuse to go.

But do that, I won't.

'Legolas,' I whispered, so soft I was mildly surprised he heard it. 

He breathed out in resignation and balled his hands into fists on his sides, clutching the thin cloth he still held on one hand. 'You look at me, Estel, with eyes clearer than the crystal from which I drink wine from back in my home in Mirkwood.' He said softly in the musical language of his kin, and slowly he was becoming guarded again, but not in the way he usually was. 'Somehow, although it brings tears to my eyes, I am fearing it.'

The fact that he and I were standing among a circle of Elves, four hobbits, a Dwarf and a man was forgotten.

He spoke surely, yet there was still a faint waver in his voice I didn't fail to hear. Once again, I chided myself for causing him such pain and fear.

'And yours, Legolas, for once, your eyes are partly unveiled before me.' I said equally soft and also in Elvish. 'You need not fear aught, dear one, for never had my mind been clearer and my heart been lighter.'

I was able to caught sight of the tears that threatened to make its way down as he heard the way I addressed him before he looked down and closed his eyes.

I longed to reach out my hand and caress his face in apology and to turn his face to look at me, but it was then that I noticed that despite the number of the ones present, Elves, Dwarf, Man and Hobbits alike, it was quiet. I then remembered we were standing in the edge of the whole gathering, but inside the circle nonetheless. 

I gave them no more attention for I never turned my eyes from the Elf before me. 

After what seemed like forever that was actually only a matter of seconds, he sighed and looked up again.

His eyes, which carried no more trace of tears, although a bit uncertain and still a bit apprehensive, bore a light of hope beneath all others and told me that he understood.

I smiled gently at him and although hesitant, I earned myself a soft smile in return.

He nodded once and without saying anything more, he walked passed me. I followed. Both of us were oblivious to the fact that we left with eyes upon our backs, leaving behind a quiet gathering.

He led the way and I silently walked behind him. And somehow, I knew that the steps I was taking would change my life thereafter. In what way, I was yet to find out.

The cloud of haze and confusion that I was trapped in had finally been blown away by the winds, also bringing the courage I had lost a long time ago back to my grasp.

We had reached a solitary and secluded place and as Legolas turned to me and my eyes met his, I knew I would never find myself again in the darkness of my own uncertainties and confusion.

The words that would leave my lips that night might not be the most eloquent words that would ever be spoken in Middle-earth.

And the simple action of taking tender hold of his hand might not be the sweetest gesture.

But as I look at him, I realized right at that moment, that some things could be left unsaid and still, its meaning was not only understood but also felt.

That night, two hearts beat as one as two souls were bounded by the unspoken promise of love and companionship.

By some odd way, I knew in my heart that someone, although grieving for what was and what could have been, was smiling upon us, happy for the treasure we both found.

_...and indeed 'twas true, for she knew, yet understood.._

_...and like him, she would also let go..._

I still wasn't able to say anything and I unconsciously tightened my hold on his hand fearing he would suddenly disappear, and such fear reflected in my face. But instead, when I blinked my eyes, I found him in the circle of my arms, his head beneath my chin and his face cradled perfectly in the crook of my neck, his arms encircled around me not as tight as my hold on him, but his fists that I felt clutching the fabric of my shirt was more than enough. Who did what, I knew not, but it didn't matter.

I knew that never again would I let such treasure slip like water through my fingers. I held him tight and held him close and thought to myself that... this was all that matters.

I need not speak anymore.

He knew the words my heart was saying.

And I, I who had caused him to back away and brought him pain and I who now looks at him with all certainty of love and care, knew his.

**_04.06.02_**  
**_~END~_**

**Author's Notes:**

And thus, it all comes to a close. This is really one of the favorite works I have ever done, online or offline. This was my first Lord of the Rings fic, and I must say, this drained my brain cells, squeezed my brain to the point of writer's block and all that. I think I have never written something that takes so much thought on just one line, or one scene! Geez.. in writing this, I really have _to be_ Aragorn in order to write something concrete. Well, my thanks for putting up with me. Until my next inspiration comes.

Thanks.


End file.
